The Tonight Show
by Silent Stinger
Summary: Bret Hart tries to host The Tonight Show... but Y2J has different plans!


Disclaimer: You know the D*mn drill :)  
  
Jeff Jarret: Live tonight it's the Tonight Show with Breeeeeeeet Haaaart. We have special guests: The Rock, Y2J, and Jay Leno!And musical guest Kid Rock! And here's the slapnuts himself, Breeeet Haaaaaaaaaaaart!  
  
Bret: ::walks to stage:: Thank you thank you. Ya know, I've been reading the papers, and I saw that the U.S. dropped a bomb, killing 5 of their own guys. Two things: Only an American would do something like that. And the man who dropped the bomb was probably Steven Richards.  
  
Edge: ::in audience:: Dude Canadians are reeking of awesomeness!  
  
Christian: ::in audience:: And Steven Richards is totally lacking coolness!  
  
Audience: ::chants:: Can-A-Da! Can-A-Da!   
  
Bret: Ok ok calm down. Well speaking of America, I hope they try to invade Canada. We'd have every other country on their asses in seconds.   
  
Audience: Hell yea!  
  
::the band plays American Badass with Kid Rock singing::  
  
Bret: Kid Rock you suck you American Dumbass.  
  
J.J.: You slapass! ::smashes guitar over Bret's head::  
  
::band does Y2J music and Jericho walks out::  
  
Y2J: Welcome to, Tonight Show. Is. JERICHO! ::applies Walls of Jericho to Jeff Jarret:: ::lets go after several minutes::  
  
J.J.: ::cies and runs off stage::  
  
Y2J: Ok now jerkys this is The Tonight Show with the Ayatollah of Rock and Rolla! Get that Kid Rock out of here and contact Mongoose McQueen. Ok but anyways.. oh! I'm supposed to do those stupid little jokes? Fine then. That jerky Bush better SHUT THE HELL UP!  
  
Audience: Yea!!!  
  
Edge: Yes he is reeking of stupidness!  
  
Christian: Dude!! Stupidness!! That reeks of awesomeness!!!  
  
::Edge and Christian give each other thumbs up::  
  
Y2J: Will the two jerkys in the audience please...  
  
Audience and Y2J: ::in unison:: SHUT THE HELL UP!  
  
Y2J: Ok now meet my first guest... The Rock!  
  
Band: ::plays music::  
  
Rocky: ::walks onstage:: Wow that band is talented.  
  
Y2J: No kidding.. but anyways Welcome Rocky! ::stands and shakes The Rocks hand::  
  
Rock: Thank you Chris  
  
Y2J: ::sits down::  
  
Rocky: I saw that Jarret idiot being slapped around backstage by Debra a bit... I don't mean actual slaps...  
  
Y2J: We have Austin working on it.  
  
::TV rises from TV and shows Austin stomping a mudhole in Jarret::  
  
Y2J: How did that cheap ass Hart afford this shit?  
  
Rocky: Gay prostitution  
  
Y2J: NO DETAILS!  
  
Edge: Shut the hell up!  
  
Y2J: Hey thats my line!  
  
Drew Carrey: ::in audience:: Whos line is it anyways?  
  
Y2J: Ok that was in an earlier fic so why is it here?  
  
Rock: Because the author is a cheap ass who steals ideas.  
  
Edge: Dude!  
  
Christian: Dude?  
  
Edge: I mastered Mind-PingPong!  
  
Christian: Dude!  
  
Y2J, Rocky, and Audience in unison: SHUT THE HELL UP!  
  
::edge and christian run off::  
  
Rocky: Chris... do you have any other guests?  
  
Chris: yea rock i...  
  
Rocky: IT DOESNT MATTER IF YOU DO! The Rock is the Peoples Champion so Shut the hell up!  
  
::edge and christian run behind the rock and give him a con-chair-to::  
  
Y2J: Thank god!  
  
::rocky is dragged off stage::  
  
Y2J: Commercial! For gods sake commericial!  
  
::commercial appears showing author begging people to read Damiens Destiny and review it::  
  
Y2J: Ok were back.. what the hell was with that commercial? That jerky needs to learn his place!  
  
Author: Chris I can bring Bret back  
  
Y2J: Ok ok! Read and Review Damiens Destiny before the author bring Bret back to haunt this stupid show. And now welcome my next guest Chris Je... wait no. Stupid cue card man! Welcome my next guest FOZZY!  
  
::fozzy run out and start singing and get the audience to mosh::  
  
Drew: Ahh help me!!!  
  
::viscera moshes drew into a wall and smashes him::  
  
Y2J: Ok another jerky we don't have to worry about!  
  
::jay leno runs out and waves a lot::  
  
Y2J: Jerky I didn't say ou could come out!  
  
Jay Leno: Well my huge chin says you suck Jericho!  
  
Y2J: You jerky!  
  
::y2j puts jay in the walls of jericho. after a while lets go and austin runs out and stunners jay. then the rock comes out and gives him a rock bottom. edge and christian then give him a con-chair-to. then jeff jarret gives him a guitar over the head. bret comes out and puts him in the sharpshooter. then he lets go and viscera jumps on jay, smashing him all over the stage::  
  
Austin: Take that ya jackass!  
  
Rock: Do you smell it jabroni?  
  
Edge: Haha he reeks of stupidness!  
  
Christian: He totally lacks coolness!  
  
Jeff Jarret: SLAPASS!  
  
Bret: And this is The Best show there is, the best show their ever was, and the best show thir ever will be!  
  
Y2J: This is the Tonight show with the Ayatollah of Rock and Rolla!  
  
Viscera: Anybody got a hot dog? 


End file.
